I Saw the Sign

Another Major League Baseball scandal has opened up our eyes to see what it takes to be Champions.  In their attempt to become Ace of the Bases, the Houston Astros were caught stealing.  At First, they used cameras to decode the signals.  Rounding second, they used trash cans to signal what pitch was coming.  Heading to third, they coordinated all this in order to gain an illegal competitive advantage.  Finally, sent home is where 3 managers and 1 general manager ended up.  These guys clearly were taking notes from the Patriots on using video to push the limits of legal research.  Did the Astros' cheating contribute to their eventual World Series Championship?  Probably...  but how would you prove that?  You cant clearly prove it was the reason for them winning.  (They had some pretty good players).  Its gonna be a Cruel, Cruel summer for the Astros, Red Sox, and Mets since they told their managers to take a walk, and Don't Turn Around.  Baseball is a cruel mistress.  She'll bring you to the top, steal your bases, and break your heart in October.  All That She Wants is another winner and the season is gone tomorrow.  Baseball has taught us many lessons in the over the years.  If you want to make more money in baseball.  Gamble on your play or throw games.  If you want to be the best player.  Do steroids.  If you want to win the World Series.  Cheat.  Thank you baseball for teaching us great life lessons.  Glad to see our national pass time keeps hitting ethical home runs. 

All Pun and Games

Let us start with our mission statement:  To take the good, bad, ugly, and whatever else we find interesting from life and turn it into something punny.  We are not limited to puns. (Which are exploiting the several different meanings of words that sound the same (homonyms) or in general using words (yes, even made up words) or terms that sound the same but are very different in meaning)  We will also use other forms of word play.  Puns are word play but not all word play are puns.  Make cents?  Our goal is to make cents from this nonsense and fund a charity.  Perhaps a park for cars?  Yes, a car park.  Where Fords and Teslas can play with one another without their humans getting all gassed up and fueling the tension between them.  That's ridiculous.  How about parks for local communities in need?  That sounds like something we can get the people to swing for.  Finding funding for a family fun field is probably a fantasy, so we really just do it for the fun in the pun.  Many of the things that will come from here will be true.  Many more will be clearly false.  We will make up quotes.  We will strive to hot air balloon things out of proportion while simultaneously making light of the situation.  Our jokes might be bad.  Our quotes might be made up.  Our writing may be dubious but our hearts will be in the write place.  We will mistakenly miss take the world for what it is and take what we miss and replace it into the world.  We will porposely swim your mind in circles like a dolphin taunting a human at an aquarium.  Are we taunting the dolphin or is it taunting us?  Exactly.  If you find us funny, thank us and pass us along to a friend.  If you find us stoopid then you clearly got the point.  If you dont like us, cool.  We are not hear to please everyone.  If you listen closely, you will find we are advocates of cereal punishment.  Bottom line:  We are here for Trix and games, so if you are down, grab your rabbits foot or Lucky Charm and we will try not to be so corny that you Flake out on us.  Chex yourself before you infect yourself with puns of fun.  We are the Total pun package (sorry no raisins).  Life is just for Kix so, grab a bowl and we will Phil you up like Punxsutawney in February.  We will try not to discriminate and will do our best to be an equal opportunity offender.  Defend the offensive and offend the defensive.  Strike those, reverse them.  The best defense is a bunch of nonsense.  Let's play.