Fart of the Deal

The belief in equaling out a trade deficit is admirable if you have no idea what a trade deficit is.  Let's take a life example.  Say you, American consumer, are a human that eats food and you get human food from a restaurant.  Let's call that restaurant Chipoltle.  (We are specifically not talking about Chipotle.  Chipoltle is an entirely fictional restaurant used only as an example of a place that may give you diarrhea.)  You pay Chipoltle $14 and in exchange they give you a burrito.  (Yes, this fictional Chopltle sells burritos too its just a coincidence and no relation.)  This works out well for you because you were very hungry and it is good for Chipoltle because they want money.  (We think that's called a business but we're only on chapter 3 of The fart of the deal so we will have to get back to you on that.)  Now, assuming you didn't sell anything to Chipoltle, you run a 100% trade deficit with Chipoltle.  Is this a bad?  No, it seemingly works out for both parties despite the fact that one party is in a serious trade deficit situation both parties have gotten something they wanted.  Chipoltle gets money and you get to clear out your entire digestive system in just a few minutes.

America runs a trade deficit with the majority of the countries it trades with.  Why?  Because America has crappy stuff that no one wants to buy?  Or, because other countries have crappy stuff that Americans want to buy?  You know its the Americans buying crap.  We're confident consumers in America.  We got stuff for everything.  We got a robot dog that our actual dog can play with.  We got a car that can almost drive itself and nuts that hang from our trucks.  We even have a golf ball that explodes on contact.  Do we really need this stuff?  No, but we bought it and we got it.  Plus, we're gonna laugh when that idiot tries to hit that golf ball and get pissed at you when you make fun of our truck nuts.  America actually does run a trade surplus with several countries too!  Meaning there are many things America is good at making and selling.  But, we run a deficit with most countries because we have to.  With a GDP around $27 trillion the USA dwarfs most other economies meaning we buy way more stuff from everyone that it is impossible for them to even afford to buy that much stuff from us because they simiply don't have that much money.  Its like that multi millionaire asking you why dont you buy a boat and a ferrari from his dealerships.  We would love to buy those things... but we cant afford it because we spent all of our money on eggs and truck nuts.  

We're confident there will be deals made and that president Trump will take credit for those good deals.  He may then subsequently $#!+ on those deals and piss everyone off but that is just his negotiating style.  Its his predictability that Americans find so soothing.  Screwing people over works really well as long as you never have to work with them again.  Luckily being apart the global economy is a short term thing and America doesn't need nothing from no one.  We wont even have to talk to any of these stupid countries ever again.  We just need them to give us money and be happy with whatever we decide we want them to give us.  Cool?  We're confident that we will come out ahead because nothing divides your counterparts like giving them a common enemy.  Oh... wait, is that how the saying goes?  Yea, we're sure that's right, a common enemy divides all foes.  Hmm... still doesnt sound right but luckily the president goes out of his way to make sure everyone loves America!  Good deal Mr. President.  Making it great by 2028.