Returning Back for the First Time

 Welcome back to The Original just for Pun site.  If you stare at it for several hours... it's a site for sore eyes.  It's a site that cites incorrectly, stairs the wrong way, and just can't help itself from being all kinds of punny.  Why are we back?  Well, for starters, we were so rudely interrupted by a mishap and an interesting concept of trying to crowdsource puns.  It was pun while it lasted.  If you visited gopunme.com at some point over the last couple of years you may have scene this concept in action.  If not, like the broken end of a spray bottle, you did not mist much.  We assure you we will not ask you to provide the puns for us, although if you would like to... drop them in the comments.  We'd love to hear them here.  

Why should you read this blog?  You probably shouldn't.  

However, there is a small chance you get some enjoyment out of its ridiculousness.  Here at gopunme.com our goal is to give ourselves entertainment by writing things.  It is possible you may get some entertainment value as well.  There may be a message or theme that involved some sort of intellectual thought or consideration.  This chance is putt putt golf. (miniature) and the likely hood of you thinking we thought is shaquille O'neil on Uber Eats.  (A tall order)  We are more than just puns of fun.  

What will we do?  We will explain our jokes because having to explain things is what makes them funny.  (even we rolled our eyes writing that)  We will make up things usefull and useless of things you already know.  We will re lie on our shelves to hold us up to some absurd standards.  We will ch eat our words at times.  We will have poor insta grammer pictures.  We will read our face books by their covers.  We wont be great at media socially.  We will be social with the encyclopedia.  You can trust that things will not be true.  It will be true that things will be false.  The lessons will be jelly donuts.  (come from the inside and just by looking at it you're not quite sure its in there)  The lesson you may learn is to not read this blog, but you've already come so far... plus, you cant unread whats already turned you red.  Sucker.  Just kidding you should come back because you're not a quitter.  Or are you?  If you do keep reading you will prove us wrong about you and for that we commend you.  Way to go, you!

*Please be warned reading this blog may cause: uncontrollable fits of rage, diarrhea of the mouth, blurred vision, complete misunderstandings, and extreme eye rolling.  Most common side effects reported were: leaving absurd comments, peeing your pants, wait gain, lost appetite, found confusion, and a total eclipse of the heart.  

Back to Bases

 Baseball was gone for the winter and finally returned for late spring.  Wait, isn't that the normal baseball schedule?  Close enough.  After having an entire offseason to negotiate The Major League Baseball Players Association and Baseball Owners finally came to terms after spring training was supposed to start.  We thought we were great procrastinators but guess we aren't in Major Leagues, yet.  The lawyers put forth the standard negotiation practice of waiting until the last minute and combined that some warning track power to get some results.  After a few balks and many low and outside pitches, we thought the sides would eventually walk or strikeout before a deal got done.  They eventually dugout of the hole they were in and both sides finally stepped up to the plate.  This new deal gave players guaranteed contracts... wait, they already have that?  Oh, well the new deal gave owners the ability to lock players in the minor leagues for extended periods of time with very little pay.  They had that too?  They still have that?  Oh, geez.  It turns out the new deal actually was just about money and finding an excuse to finally get the DH into the National League.  We're sure at least one of those will have an impact on the game.

This marks the end of the pitch hitting era in baseball.  Wait, we mean pitchers hitting era, right? (We hope someone makes contact with the baseball this year.)  This era has established without any doubts; if you pitch, you cannot hit.  This idea has been continually reinforced early on in a players career because it is physically impossible to throw the ball very fast and use that same arm in a swinging motion to hit a baseball very far.  Some say the motions are very similar but it is not true.  You throw or you hit because the physics and biomechanics simply don't allow for both.  It has been proven if you try to do both; you will not make it to the Major Leagues and no one will know who you are.  Seriously, have you ever heard of Babe Ruth or Shohei Ohtani?  Unlikely.  They are nobodies and have proved it with their stats.  Last year Shohei only hit 46 bombs with 100 RBI's as a hitter.  As a pitcher he only struck out 156 batters and hit over 100 mph on the gun on his way to AL MVP.  Babe Ruth only hit 714 home runs with a lifetime era of 2.28 and is widely considered to be one of the best players of all time.  Now, some may consider these accomplishments as "impressive," because they irrefutably are, but they shouldn't.  We established earlier about the preconceived notion that one person can not possess the ability to do both things well.  The numbers, physical proof, and data do not matter.  It is the traditional ideas that have been founded with years of ignorance that matter to the game.   Any evidence to the contrary of those ideas should be completely ignored.  The perpetuation of stereotypes should continue starting at a young age and percolate onward.  Keeping things the way they are makes them better.  That is the way.  Or, maybe there is an entire talent pool of players abilities that scouts, coaches, and the game is missing out on?   Nah, that doesn't seem right.  The arm physical limitation thing definitely sounds right and not at all idiotic so, lets stick with that.