Opening YAY!

The baseballs back in our court...  Or back in the empty stadiums.  (excluding Canada)  The Major League Baseball season is finally underway after months of delay.  The crowds filing into the stadium, the fresh cut grass, clean lined field, smell of popcorn and hotdogs wafting through the hum of the pregame chatter, seeing your favorite player in person and realizing he's not as big as he seems on TV but is still happy to deny signing your self made clay statue of him.  Sadly, these are all things we wont get to be apart of this baseball season.  (We wonder why...?!)  We like to look at the runs side of the scoreboard and not the errors side so here are some positives that will come from this shortened season:  60 Games!  Nothing makes each game count more than cutting over 100 games from the schedule. Rule Changes!  When pandemics hit it makes you really focus on whats important instead of squabbling over minor issues.  The National League will be adopting the DH (only 46+ year after the American League).  Runner starting on 2nd base in extra innings.  If they couldnt get it figured out in 9 innings.... get this game over already.  No restrictions on position players pitching.  Great, (inserting eyeroll) because no team brings in their left fielder to hurl 78 mph fastballs unless their team is down by at least 12 runs.  Expanded Playoffs!  We're getting excited about the new playoff format.  8 teams from each league (16 total).  With more teams means more upsets means more excitement.  (Its the standard fun formula) This really changes the game.  There are teams that deserved to make the playoffs in past years that have missed because they were in a tough division.  We're sure their will also be teams that probably dont belong that pull off an upset!  (Not sorry Dodgers and Yankees)  Time to prove yourselves in October!  Let's Play Ball!

The Road to DeMaskUs

The leadership at the top of our nations top offices has been disorganized at its best.   However, they have been very clear on contradicting each other.  The original path to freedom drove the populous towards not wearing a mask.  This path, littered with viral mine fields, led to an infectious feeling of dread and millions actually infected.  We're guessing the theory was: it wont help and supply of masks was low so we need to keep them for the working healthcare professionals.  Odd, that healthcare providers need to wear them to protect themselves while simultaneously recommending the public not wear them to protect ourselves.  Contradict much?  Good call healthcare people.  Do masks work to help prevent the spread of disease?  Yes. (if worn properly) (Why else would surgeons and healthcare workers wear them?  Besides making them look like they know what they are doing.)  Is wearing masks the only thing we should be doing to control infectious diseases?  No.  There are several other things that can help.  (washing hands, social distancing, exercise, eating right, etc.)  

Dont mask what your country can do for you... but just do whatever you want because your actions have no impact on others.  That "American" freedom attitude has allowed the covid situation to kick our mask six ways to Sunday.  Its time to 180 this baby.  POTUS has recently walked back his original stance of "dont wear mask because it prevents burger intake" (not a real quote)  He then realized the masks are removable.  The Don has donned a mask in some situations trumping his own lack of awareness.  He even said "it is Patriotic to wear a face mask when you can’t socially distance.”  We understand it is difficult for anyone to change their stance on hot button issues, so we are shocked that he stopped masking the truth.  If the Trumpenator is coming around to ideas then it must be so long overdue that we are probably already more than halfway down Covid Creek.

We know we have been talking a lot about masks lately and just like a mask over your mouth and nose...  we're over it.  So, let's put it on now so we can all take it off soon!

WishWashington Redskins

After years of hanging on to the offensive, dated name of the D.C. football team, the Redskins, will finally go the way the Native Americans went.  Slowly getting faded out by some old white folks.  The owners didnt care so much that the name has been offensive to the Native American people.  They didnt care so much about the multiple previous attempts to address the name problem.  They did care when the sponsors started threatening to take away millions of dollars.  Let this be a lesson for everyone wanting to make a change.  If you really want things to change the best way is to hit them wear it counts.  Right in the ol' pocket book.  There's nothing that talks louder than money.  We're sooo shocked that human beings would do things for lots of money rather than just because its the right thing to do.  We're just amaized that billionaires like to do things for lots of money.  Crazy, right? (we strained an ocular nerve rolling our eyes so hard)  Was this name offensive when they first decided on it?  Was it just some white men doing something without consulting the people it effected?  We dont have the answers to these questions but we do have some suggestions for the new team name though:

Washington Pigskins - because its just an easy transition.  They dont even have to take down all the old signs just put a big football over the RED part.
Washington 500's -  According to Wikepedia in their last 1234 regular season games (all of them)  They are 603-603-28.  Thats impressively mediocre.
Wershington Pretzels -  Because if they expand their fan base into the mid-west they can wersh away their problems with a lil soap and water.  Maybe Snyder needs a handover?  Also of late, the team has just been a hard, salty thing that has been difficult to swallow with out an excessive amount of beer.
Washington Bureaucrats -  Because they seem like they're working hard but they aint getting anything done!
Washington Trumps.  Because it doesnt matter what it is, that dude just loves to put his name on stuff.
Washington Capitolist - This ones a capitall order.
Washington Seminole Gaming Casinos - Because the only way we seem to be able to make up for kicking Native Americans off of their land is to allow them to have casinos.
Washington "probably should ask and consult the Native Americans before we pick something again"
Washington, George's - Whats more american than that?!
Washington Monuments - Oh, we think that one might be taken.

Names and flags mean things.  They are symbolic and representative of the people that support and promote them.  It is only right that the people have a voice in the decision.  So, just like in your game... there should be no shame in your name. 

Social Misstancing

Since the Corona virus found its beach on every coastline of America, it has quickly made America its beach.  It has also become the most popular news topic, our favorite controversial debate, party ruiner, and thing to pass along to your friends and family.  America has once again done what it does best.  Become #1!  (In your face again world! You thought we would stop with the Dream Team?  Ha.  No Way!)  With more infected and more dead from the virus, we're on top of all other nations totals.  (not per capita, just total numbers)  Way to go America!  We just cant help ourselves when we do things, we do them well!  Other nations are starting to get so jealous that they are banning Americans from entering their countries!  Its ok other countries... maybe one day you can be like us! (hopefully not!)

Yes, we all want to be  social disDancing, social distanSinging, and social kissing.  Yes, the government has resorted to social financing.  Yes, we miss dancing, miss the bar, miss our restaurants, and especially miss the beaches.  No, there is no cure, great treatment, or vaccine on the horizon.  Millions have lost jobs the nation has been standing apart on several of the issues.  The 6 feet between us has been pulling us apart for months.  So, lets clear some things up!

Should you drink bleach?  This will in fact guarantee you wont get any virus because you will be dead.  (DONT DO IT!)  (If you actually thought about doing this... how did you even make it this far?)

Should you wear a mask?  Batman wears a mask not to protect himself but to protect the ones he loves from being a target of evil.  (Masks do the same thing!  (evil being COVID)) Be like Batman, protect the ones around you and save lives!  Plus, what could go wrong with you wearing a mask and yelling "I am Batman" everywhere you go?  (Probably baker acted, but who doesnt love a nice padded room?!)

Should you eat more fruits and vegetables?  Yes, but thats just basic health and has nothing to do with COVID-19.

Should you exercise more often?  Yes, but once again that is just a general health guideline that you should be doing on a routine basis.

Should you go wash your hands?  Again, a basic health thing that you should be doing multiple times everyday!  We didnt think we'd have to clarify this but wash your freaking hands!  Wash them more than you want to and especially after using the bathroom.

Finally, should you quarantine yourself if you test positive for COVID-19?  Yes, and by quarantine we mean dont go anywhere or be in contact with anyone.  No, dont go out to Target and think your being safe because you're wearing a mask.  Dont go out to a friends party because your not showing symptoms.  YOU CAN SPREAD COVID WITHOUT SHOWING SYMPTOMS!  Stop being selfish and take one for the team because right now Team America is in last place.  We're playing like a bunch of individuals because "rights of freedom" or "civil liberties".  Well, teams dont win by playing like a bunch of individuals.  Teams win (and by that we mean defeat this virus) by coming together and doing your part.  So lets regroup and get it together before we lose to places like England.  Are we really gonna lose to England?!  Its almost the 4th of July so lets take it to England again!  Let's go!  Be safe, be kind, do your part, and we will win!

#BeatEngland  #WashyourHands  #DontDrinkBleach   #COVID-19  #TeamAmerica