The Bucks Stops Here

The Milwaukee Bucks decided to boycott their playoff game versus the Orlando Magic on August 26th.  We're not talking about practice.  We're not talking about a game.  We're talking about the playoffs.  Playoffs?  Yea, playoffs.  This was done on the reaction to another police shooting.  Many other teams including baseball, hockey, and womens basketball followed suit by not suiting up for games.  Jacob Blake was shot in the town of Kenosha, WI which is about 40 miles south of Milwaukee.  The Bucks decided to buck the trend and say buck this stuff that keeps happening to people around the nation.  Why does this continue to happen?  Malcom Gladwell has some theories in his book Talking to Strangers.  (you should read it)  His theory:  the trend is a response to the training police officers that makes them divert from the norm of defaulting to truth.  What happens when serve and protect is transformed into sever and suspect?  Everyone is guilty and dangerous we just have to find out what makes them that.  This state of mind provokes fear from both sides.  Officers afraid of the suspects because they continually think that are dangerous and suspects afraid of officers who could shoot them at any given moment.  When animals are afraid the response is usually predictable. (fight or flight)  Is that a world we really want to live in?  In a state constant fear?  We do not and we hope you do not either.  

Fear is a constant these days.  There are so many options.  Viruses, Fires, Hurricanes, Police, and whether or not Jessica is going to wear that same dress you bought together to the dance tonight. (it doesnt get any scarier than showing up to a party with someone having a matching outfit)  What is the end goal of the sports protest?  (we think that everyone has a right to peacefully protest for the beliefs they have)  Is the end goal to end racism right now?  Unfortunately as much as most of us would like to see that happen... it is not realistic.  The structural kind of change that is needed is one that has (to) come slow.  (For those on the taking it side, it is always too slow.)  It has to come from the people being oppressed by the system to get involved in it.  We need more black teachers, police officers, and representatives.  We need them to get into these positions with a clear conscience of making true change and not simply to get revenge or to even the score.  They need to take the high road because clearly there are some people that love to drive down the low road.  

The end goal of ending racism is lofty and most likely unattainable but it is something to shoot for.  (please dont actually shoot)  People are still people.  They will still prejudge people on the way they look.  If you have white sunglasses on people are going to assume you are a douche.  That is their fault.  If you open your mouth about how you just got jacked up on some roids, then brag about the 3rd girl you hooked up with this week, you are a douche and thats your fault.  The point is that this stuff is going to take a while!  Dont expect results right away. (although cops if you could go ahead and stop shooting people that dont need to be shot that would be great)  Dont let slow progress stop the process.  Stay grinding and keep dreaming that dream so that one day someone will wake up and take it for granted.    

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."  This was a quote directly from Donald Trump... Ok, its obviously actually from Martin Luther King Jr.  How can you judge a person by the content of their character if you dont listen to what they have to say?  How can you judge if you do not have empathy to their situation?  How can you judge?  The easy way to judge is on prejudice, bias, and preconceived notions that we know everyone based on what is on the outside.  But if we did that there would be no dream speeches.  We need to stop taking the easy way.  On this day August 28th, 1963 Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream.  Dont give up on it.

Going Postal on that Ca$h

The United States Postal Service has been delivering financial efficiency throughout its long history... said nobody.  Through rain, sleet, and snow it drops cash flow like it does bills through your mail slot.  Why did the USPS lose $69 Billion in 11 Fiscal Years 2008  -  2018?  Their cost of doing business was $69 billion more than the money they collected.  (we asked our MBA's to do the math)  The real question is: Why do they spend so much more than they make?  Some people say it is because they have to pre pay their retirement liabilities.  Some say it is because no one uses snail mail anymore.  Some say its revenge from Santa Clause for not delivering all those kids wish lists because the North Pole was just too far for the USPS.  Santa had to guess what they wanted and all the kids were upset because all they got were socks. (Santa is a terrible guesser)  Truth is:  Pre paying retirement liabilities is a financial strain in the short run but in the long run actually is more financially efficient.  Snail Mail delivery has dropped significantly in the last 10 years but package delivery continues to increase substantially.  No one really wants socks for Christmas but we only have 3 mismatched pairs left and 2 socks have holes in them so we probably need them.

USPS has ignored trends and failed to capitalize on new ones.  Congress had originally set up a sweet monopoly situation for the USPS thus it limited the amount the USPS can raise prices on stamps and packages.  This has become a huge problem on the revenue side.  The USPS inexplicably still delivers mail 6 days a week to everyone.  That is a huge problem on the cost side.  Dear USPS, we really dont need that coupon for pizza and that flyer for discounted mattresses delivered everyday.  (we know our grandparents still need those paper bills and to mail out check payments but everyone else pays online)  If you delivered mail 3 days a week that would be sufficient and 1 day a week in rural areas (or more frequently as needed for medications, but if you need your meds everyday... you should probably have more than a 1 day supply on hand.  We've heard doctors can even give them out for a full month supply or more, please check with your doctor for more information)  That will cut your staff and your costs significantly.  We wish this was our idea but.... the USPS office of Inspector General had this idea in 2010! ( USPS Inspector General 3 Day Delivery)  WTF?!  Their own math estimated 3 day delivery could save $10 Billion.  So lets get this straight...  The USPS has known about solutions to some of their financial problems for at least a decade, and then continued to do the same things.  (Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results... whats that called again?)  Now they are asking for billions of dollars because no one wanted to make the tough decisions years ago.  How very democratic of you.  We dont want to hurt anyone right now so lets screw everyone in the future!

Change is hard.  We get it.  We once had to stop eating ice cream for breakfast.  (Worst week ever.)  It is a shock to the system to realize the way things were is not the way things are.  (We're sure that eating a pint ice cream for breakfast cant possibly be contributing to being significantly overweight and pre-diabetic)  Many of you will get stuck in the first step of grief. (denial)  Yes, some mail workers will lose jobs.  This is unfortunately unavoidable no matter what.  Most companies no longer offer pensions because it has drove many companies to the brink of bankruptcy (or put them into bankruptcy, see big car companies or most cities in Illinois) which is why (we're guessing who really knows why congress does some things) congress mandated a prepayment for these liabilities.  The argument that most companies dont have to prepay retirement liabilities is true because most companies dont offer them.  Most companies offer things like matching contributions to IRA's and 401k's which are paid into by employers as you get paid.  Most companies also would have ability to file for bankruptcy.  USPS being a quasi governmental body doesnt have that ability.  (Or does it?)  So, which is worse?  Allowing the USPS to continue to operate seeing that pensions and liabilities will drive it into bankruptcy within 10 years.  Or, make them prepay their future liabilities so they are forced to quickly (like 10 years quick) come up with long term solutions to their financial problems?  The longer you wait the more cuts will eventually have to be made.  It sucks, the choices are hard, and no one wants to be the person(s) that killed jobs and took away any persons livelihood.  The post office needs to move posthaste and stop mailing it in before they reach the point where everyone's termination papers get stamped. 

The solutions seem somewhat simple.  Cutting overhead.  Raise prices on packages and ship more of them if you would like to continue everyday delivery. (good luck with those economics)  Raise prices on stamps.  Of course you dont have to raise revenues or cut costs.  You can just take a huge taxpayer bailout and continue business as usual.  You can even continue using the claim that the USPS is a public institution as an excuse.  It was a necessary public institution until people invented better ways to communicate.  (like Blogs, insert eye roll)  The USPS first ran into financial trouble in the 1840's with an out of date business model.  Luckily, congress stepped in and solved the problem for good.  Until 180 years later... history it seems has sent a first class disaster package to the future.  Its all good, we are sure that congress will step in and solve the problem for good!


Art from:
MAD #512, December 2011
Writer: Jeff Kruse
Artist: Anton Emdin 

Planet to Perfection

A lot of Perseverance and Ingenuity went into getting this new red rover on its way to Mars.  It has been delayed since the rover has been starring in the new Wall-E film but the rocket launch finally got the green light at Cape Canaveral on July 30, 2020 and it went off... like a rocket!   (Too easy?)  It was perfectly planned propulsion that lead to an impeccable launch.  We will try to hold back our amazement that humans can actually get things into outer space let alone land them on other planets.  Ok, we cant take it... Its soo out of this world!  (Nerd Alert)  The fact that we can land things on other planets is just awe inspiring!  It is on to a new world where this rover hopes to find evidence that some of us are actually descendants of Martians.  Seriously, some people on this planet can not possibly be from Earth.  (MIB are really doing a pretty good job hiding them but some people are just too crazy to be hidden)
This planetary effort was done in collaboration with NASA and the Mars We May Need You Sooner Than We Think Alliance.  This alliance was founded by People That Can See Other People Are Clearly Screwing Up The Earth Coalition.  (Although, maybe its just these Martians living here screwing up Earth because they own a lot of property on Mars and know once Earth is screwed they can make a ton in the Martian real estate game)  Life is a very hard thing to kill but with a little luck humans may just succeed at killing all of it. 
The leaders of Mars were quoted saying "this is one small rover for mankind and one giant annoyance for us.  Why are you so interested in us?  Because we're red?  Is Earth a bunch of planet racist?  Maybe if we were blue you would just be cool and leave us alone but nooo since we're Red you got to drill us and inspect us to see whats wrong with us.  We have a bigger Mons than you, just deal with it.  No need to get jealous that our Olympic size volcano used to shoot hot ash way better than any of the puny hills you got on earth.  You can land here but just dont go all Native American on us claiming something to be "yours" that has existed for a very long time before you got here."
We're hoping in 7 months that the rover (Perseverance) sees red and also a lot of other things when it lands softly on the reddest rocky planet in the solar system.  It will then (after a quick stop at the Mars Deep Red Light district for a "tune" up) release its helicopter (Ingenuity) which will take pictures of the rear of the rover so it can be the first to do the Uranus joke on Mars.  Yea, its a weird thing to spend billions of dollars on but... lets face it we've never heard a bad (or good) Uranus joke, and it will definitely make a couple people laugh! (us)  Red Rover, Red Rover send Perseverance right over.  God speed you interplanetary robot, God speed.

Russian to a Vaccine

Mr. Putin has shown his hubris once again.  This time by reaching down from the depths of nothing and pulling out a miracle solution to all the worlds problems.  Putin has been puttin the Russian scientific community to work on a vaccine for the covid-19 virus.  Done.  "It was so easy, take us like few days, I'm not sure what is taking long for everyone else.  I guess Russia is much more awesome than everyone." (fake quote)  He claims Russia is the first to come up with the "Sputnik 5" vaccine for the virus.  This is a companion that is sure to travel well through media outlets, but is it legitimate?   We totally believe you when you say you came up with a vaccine in a ridiculously short amount of time.  We are so sure it is effective and safe even though there was very little testing done.  We would never question your motives.  We would never think that you are coming up with this "vaccine" so you could sell it to all the worlds governments and make a lot of money.  All good politicians know not to let an emergency situation go to waste.  When the world is desperate, that is when it is the most vulnerable.  Vulnerability leads to poor decision making.  This is a prime time for scammers and cheats to take advantage.  It is the scammer Super Bowl.  Most of them are small timers peddling inaccurate tests for covid, tainted hand sanitizer, or still calling about that money you won they just need your bank account info.  (The list of tainted hand sanitizers has grown very quickly please be careful that yours does not contain methanol or 1-propanol) 
It is so weird that Russia seems the be the first country to pop up the "hospitality" tent.  Just give us lots of money and we'll cure all that ails you.  Putin was quoted saying "This isnt just a covid-19 vaccine, it also cures cancer and can make lose 20 lbs in week.  You'll be covid free and have that rockin body that will make you look so good when you riding horse around with no shirt."  (not a real quote)  How could Russia know if actually works?  No one is sure if they could possibly do that in such a short period of time, but that is unimportant.  Is it a liquid that gets injected into the body with a needle?  Yes.  Are people desperate?  Yes.  Then it is exactly what you need!  Mr. Putin is a former intelligence agent so he knows the key to intelligence.... Marketing.  Market yourself as the best and just maybe you can fool enough people to make it work, regardless of it actually working.  Lets all hope at least this "vaccine" first does no harm. 

Tech.nical Difficulties

There was a difficult tech conference on Capitol hill and senators are calling technical fouls on the worlds biggest companies.  Capitol hill:  Where senators get together and make each other feel better by yelling at CEO's whilst getting nothing of value actually gets accomplished.  The tech world has been loading... loading... loading... loading more content under their company umbrellas.  The clouds have become so big they are starting to get too close to "above the law status."  Senators have become feeling sandwiched because they are the only ones who like to have this status.  They are getting peanut butter and jelly of the 4 companies:  Apple, Facebook, Amazon, and Google (or alphabet? does anyone really call them that?)  Apple was answering calls of Tim Cooking the books with Iphone battery technology.  Facebook has been zucked into a void of over-posted evidence.  Facebook wont look but they're ok if their partners are downloading peoples private datawear drawers.  (We dont even know where those files came from, a friend must have used our computer or it was a virus... yea, definitely a virus!)  Amazon has overbooked their employees while 2 day delivering away their souls.  Meanwhile their founder (richest man in the world) has his head in space.  Google has searched and searched and finally found themselves alphabetizing peoples digital lives into their personal Rolodex.  We Googled, Google and it said "we can put whatever we want here and we'll make it your top result because we can."  Seriously though if you Google alphabet... Google corporate information comes up... and not the actual freaking alphabet.


#GoogleGoogle  #TheFaceofFacebook  #BiteoutofApple  #AmazonintheJungle
#GoogleSearchesforSoul  #FacebookProfilingwithProfiles  #holdyourtongueandsayApple
#AmazonsellsJungleanddeliversitin2days